Wednesday, December 23, 2015

6 Things I've Learned As An Autism Mom About My Kiddo and Me!

Every Child on the spectrum is just as unique as every snowflake! Some may be similar in ways but never the same.

My son, 3yo, is on the spectrum with aba behavior and picky eater issues. He was born at 32 weeks and together we had the roughest pregnancy I could have ever imagined! From vomiting all 32 weeks, to pre term labor, throw in some left side neurological issues and a gall bladder with sludge to my heart rate dropping to 30 bpm for days and finally hemorrhaging and then some.. the list goes on but I am grateful to have him and be alive!
Wild as his hair - I love his for HIM!
So what have I learned so far in the time we have started the fight against Autism in our house with our boy....here goes...

* Leave with plenty of time to get or go anywhere because in the mix kicks in Murphy's autism law, where everything goes wrong and delays you from putting on shoes 5 times to a melt down cause he wants to jump off the side walk not walk next to me. 

* Have lots of patience  and by lots I mean the kind of patience that each individual child responds to... my boy likes to be talked to calmly and rationally so when he sees me angered or irritated it fuels his naughty little fire. He loves a challenge because he loves to not back down. Side note - Patience is important but not always there, were all human, do your best and take a breath when needed. Also asking for help is perfectly FINE!

* Know when he's had enough and that maybe at the end of the night, at an event or just at any time. Know when to just say let's go and be okay with it. 

* He loves to learn and he is brilliant so being at school absolutely is the best atmosphere for him. He has the biggest heart and always wants to play with others. He is very high functioning with very little verbal delay but his cognitive understanding and response is definitely still delayed so being at school and challenging him daily with goals to meet is where my little Einstein needs to be. Mikey reads at almost a first grade level at almost 4yo, knows all his shapes, colors and spells words for us too! Brilliant little man, so blessed to have him as my own!

* He is just perfect the way he is and the things he brings to our lives as any child does to their own families is just what we needed... I don't deal with him and his behavior, I help correct it.
Do we get frustrated? Yes, do all parents, yes...should we be in it together no matter what? Absolutely! This is why I am grateful for my friends and family that understand and want to help. Huge shout out to Sal, my friend Catheryn's husband... they too have a very High functioning 8yo and now that she is off running around with all the others and met so many amazing goals, he knows how it used to be and helps me out. Thank you Sal and all my family and friends that know when I need the help and just do it! Thank you! That's the best gift to me when I am having a rough time with my son, someone who understands and just comes to help any way they think will help. Sometimes the best help for a child on the spectrum is a distraction from what has them upset or stuck. 

* WE are grateful to help him be the best he can be as we do with our daughter and I want them both to know that we are proud of the individuals they are with their own specific strengths and weaknesses and here to help with each. I am NOT here to say that I will get rid of all of his spectrum behavior but the goal is definitely to do so and it is not to change him because he is perfect the way he is but it is so that he can progress to the education level best for him to succeed the best he can in life as I wish for both of my children.

Right now we are working on his eating and his behavior. Both are improving but need a lot of help. I am sure this list will grow as we grow as a family. 

I think the biggest thing I have learned is to take one day at a time, help as much as you can in each situation at hand and always always go with your GUT!

He challenges me daily, but then again so does my daughter with her 3rd grade common core math! We got this! !!

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from our totally real and fairly crazy family to yours.
OnTheGoOC

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